‘I'm just like you; I just can't see'

City woman recalls a childhood without sight

Katy Nicholson Herald Staff Writer

ROANOKE RAPIDS - Alice Johnson lives in a pristine apartment, only a few towns away from where she grew up, but she is worlds away from her humble beginnings.

Johnson was born in Lewiston in 1952, the second of four children. At a young age she was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa, which causes the deterioration of the retinas.

Johnson's mother took her children to Philadelphia when they were young, but later doubted her ability to take care of them. She returned them to the area to live with Lela Tebron, an elderly woman she'd met at church, who had a home in Jackson.

The children grew up “very, very poor,” along with three of Tebron's grandchildren. They earned money by picking cotton and attended Eastside Elementary.

As a young girl, Johnson would be left at home when her family went out to the carnival or other events. They would leave her a loaf of sweet bread and she'd brush the ants off of it and eat it for dinner.

“No, it wasn't a bad thing,” she said. “It was only because they didn't know how to deal with a nearsighted or near-blind little girl.”

Johnson's older sister moved to New York to live with her father when she was a teenager.

“I became the oldest, so I became the mommy, so everybody looked to me,” she explained.

Johnson attended Gumberry High School; in 10th grade, her teacher suggested she enroll at Governor Morehead School for the Blind in Raleigh. The decision proved beneficial for Johnson. She leaned etiquette, housework and other skills, and was surrounded by other young people with visual impairments.

“Governor Morehead (school) taught me I was just like everybody else - I just couldn't see,” she said.

Though Johnson's life improved exponentially when she went to Raleigh, her self-esteem was still shattered from years of callous remarks from her former schoolmates. “They would call me ‘rubber eye, rubber eye,' so I thought I was ugly, no good, no use, no nothing.”

After a trip home one year, Johnson went for a physical and was informed she was pregnant. She had to leave school in Raleigh and return to Jackson to have her baby.

She and her siblings had been in touch with their mother in Philadelphia all along, and Johnson wanted to make sure her mother didn't find out she was having a baby, because she admired her mother and didn't want to be looked down upon.

One of her brothers accidentally mentioned it on the phone one day, and Johnson's mother came down from Philadelphia to take Johnson and her young son, Waldell, to live with her.

When she was in her early 20s, Johnson returned to Raleigh and worked as a seamstress through the Raleigh Lions Club for the Blind while her mother took care of Waldell in Philadelphia.

A woman Johnson worked with asked her to go to church, and Johnson said she would go once. For the first time, Johnson learned that someone loved her for who she was - Jesus. The preacher's words changed her life, though the tough times were not over. “I always tried to be the one, if you need it, I'll have it, because I thought that brought you friends.”

Married life, and a calling

In 1975, Johnson decided she needed to move to Philadelphia to be with her mother and son, and also became an usher at her church. In 1980, however, she began spending weekends in Jackson with Tebron, who was in her 80s and had become sick.

It was during one of these visits in the spring of 1980 that she met a man who took a great deal of interest in her. He didn't seem to mind that she was blind, and she liked that.

“This man, he seemed so nice. He knew I couldn't see. He didn't worry about me blundering,” she said.

On Sept. 26, 1980, Johnson put on her best dress and got married in a Virginia courthouse. She went to Philadelphia and picked up Waldell, and the three of them moved to Roanoke Rapids.

Johnson was happy to be living with two people who loved her, but things didn't stay good for long. Her husband soon became jealous of the attention she gave to her son, she explained, and would pick little arguments with Waldell.

“I would never say anything when he would fuss with my child, but it would hurt,” she said.

One day, Johnson's mother and stepfather knocked on the door. Fourteen-year-old Waldell had called them because he wanted to return to Philadelphia.

“I said, ‘You really want to leave?' and he said, ‘Yeah, Mommy, you know it ain't working.'”

Johnson's husband was a minister. He sometimes brought her with him to visit members of the church, but became jealous of the attention she received, she said. He once left her at someone's house after she recited a poem for them, and she had to find her own ride home.

Johnson enjoyed talking to people about God, and one day called in to a Christian radio show. The host, Rev. Purvis, asked her to call back and end the show with a prayer. She did, and he asked her if she would like to speak on the radio every day, and she said yes.

As a Christian, Johnson stayed with her husband as long as she could, but after years of problems, it got to be too much. She told him to take whatever he wanted from the house and leave. The topic of her radio show the next morning was “Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, I'm free at last.”

Johnson knew social worker Larry DeBruhl, who helps people with visual impairment. DeBruhl helped her enroll in a class for the blind at Halifax Community College, and helped her find an apartment of her own.

Johnson has been separated from her husband for 16 years now and hasn't dated since. Her mother and stepfather moved into her apartment four years ago when they developed Alzheimer's disease.

Her stepfather died three years ago, and Johnson kept her mother with her as long as she could. It was a difficult decision, but she eventually placed her mother in a nursing home when she was no longer able to care for her. She hasn't seen her son or two of her siblings in some time, but she does visit with her brother Herman on some weekends.

Right at home

After nearly 20 years, Johnson has continued her evangelical show - now on WSMY 1400 AM - every weekday at 7:45 a.m.

In spite of the challenges she's experienced - poverty, blindness and an emotionally draining marriage - Johnson harbors no bitterness. Instead, she tries to help others who don't have enough. If she notices a child on a school trip eating at a restaurant who can't afford a meal, she buys the chid a meal.

“I was always poor. I didn't have nothing. Now I eat everything I want. I eat good now. You don't know what it is unless you've been there,” she said with tears in her eyes.

Johnson may not be able to see, but she makes good use of her speaking and listening skills. She has spoken at local schools and churches, and has taught Sunday school. She also speaks at events for married couples and has talked to children with behavioral problems. Those who know her call her “Mother Johnson” or “Evangelist Johnson.”

Her friends Connie Webb and Brenda Durante are her “right and left hands” who help out by taking her to do her errands. They help her get around in public by holding her arm, which inspired Johnson to write a poem, “I Go from Arm to Arm.”

Johnson also benefits from certain pieces of technology, such as the clock/calculator she has had for more than 30 years, and her watch, both of which say the time out loud for her.

She has about 15 radios in her apartment, and listens to books on tape. When she wants to memorize scriptures, she simply rewinds the tape. In addition to writing poetry, she cleans her own house and plays the piano. She often tells people, “I'm just like you; I just can't see.”

Johnson said she hopes her story can inspire others to take control of their own lives and feel good about themselves.

“If you call me and say, ‘Alice, I'm kind of down,' well, I'm gonna cheer you up by the time I'm finished with you.”